This is another article showing you my underbelly for the good of the Kingdom, I will attempt to guide you around some deep potholes of my early walk. Once again, we in the West are too invested in our own viewpoints and find it hard to believe that other cultures or people groups can have a completely different view. This article will cover such topics like "African Time", "honesty" verses "face" and the "Client/Patron relationship" Buckle up (and try not to laugh).

About 15 years ago I started to disciple people from different people groups. To mention a few they were: Nepalese, Congolese, Sudanese, Korean, Bhutanese, Singapore and Hong Kong, main land Chinese and Persian (Iranian). I have never been happier nor more frustrated in my life! If there was a wrong way to try and disciple these groups then I've done it. As diverse as these people seem they do possess some common threads. Threads that I was completely unaware of at first. It is some of the more common pitfalls I will address. I will address them in the order of the magnitude of frustration that I felt until I mastered the concepts.

The first pothole is "Time", its measurement and importance attributed to it.

As a young man my work forced me to deal with a lot of traditional Aboriginals. I love them as a group but simply stated, they on a whole, at that time and place where I was stationed, simply did not have any concept of time at all. Appointments were never kept or if they were, they could be over a week late at random. My bosses at the time explained it to me that "it is, what it is, live with it". I had thought that this had prepared me well for discipling other people groups on the whole. I was wrong. Horribly wrong and it proved what a slow learner I actually was.

I had heard of friends joking about "African Time" in the mission fields and could identify with it but I never really understood it.

The format of my interactions with groups in the beginning (house churches, curious non-believers, study groups, one on one discipleship, etc.) were usually about 40 minutes to an hour long. They comprised mostly of Australian, Caucasian, lower to middle class people. They started mostly on time and finished mostly on time. (Australians always like a bit of chit chat either end.) As the number of meetings grew I had to organise my time better and plan routes to maximise my time and resources. As a tent maker working to sustain my family I had to be frugal with my time and money to maximise benefit for the Kingdom. On my days off I would arrange 3 to 4 meetings a day. It was draining but satisfying.

This came to a screaming halt when I started working with other people groups. The beautiful and wonderful Congolese, for example, would welcome me in and treat me as a special guest. They would start to prepare a banquet in my honour even if it was 9 am in the morning. The "meeting" would not even begin until maybe 6 pm when every member of the extended family and friends had arrived. The "40 minute" meeting might go until 9 pm that night or I was bid to stay overnight as I "had to meet" someone or another.

As flattering and exciting as those days were you had to realise that I had booked other meetings that day (three or four maybe). Ones that I had rudely stood up! I was pulling my hair out back then. No amount of explanation or pleading would correct it. If I kept the appointments I would greivously offend the hosts. If I stayed I grievously offended the next groups. Every time the people would promise it would be different next time, and yes you know me by now, I would stupidly book other meetings next time that would inevitably be messed up again. I am a slow learner as I have said. I repeated this unproductive practice with other people groups as well.

To some people groups "Time" is not Time at all. In the west we are ruled by the clock on the wall. We set our alarm clock to get up, go to work/school, come home, eat and play. In Queensland in the areas that I lived to be 15 minutes early without warning was rude but to be 10 minutes late was almost inexcusable. Tasmania where I am now, people invite people to functions and dinners by saying "6pm for 6.30pm" as it is acceptable to be 30 minutes late and in fact expected. Any more or less is rude though? In the West the hands of a clock rule us.

Elsewhere in the world it may be completely different! They are not "time" driven but "task" driven. They simply can not start another task until the task that they are doing is finished for the day. If you are "late", you are late. Everyone accepts this!

Another contradiction to the clock are meetings were certain people are expected to attend. How can a meeting possibly start if the people that are suppose to interact and attend are not there? Starting times are irrelevant. The meeting will start only when everyone has arrived! Again finishing times are irrelevant also because the meeting is a task. It can only finish when the task is done! Wow I wish someone had explained this to me along time ago before I started to try multicultural discipleship.

Consequentially I had to plan my trips accordingly. I really mucked up a lot of opportunities in those early days by my stubbornness and ignorance. Don't follow my example Please!

So why then did people promise me that "next time it will be different". Did they bald face lie to me and insult me? Trick me?... No the fault was actually mine! I forced them into an impossible situation

The second pothole is "Face". Honesty Vs Politeness.

People would promise me that next time they would be ready for me and start on time. I would be able to get away to my other appointments. In the West "Honesty" is valued (well not too much honesty but some). If we think that we have been deceived or tricked we are offended. Not so with some other cultures. They may value "Honour" above that of honesty. As an "Honoured" guest it would be inconceivably rude to contradict you in anyway. They would loose "face" or even worse cause you to loose "face" if they were to upset you and go against anything that you stated as fact, truth, procedure, etc... They would do anything to avoid that as it would bring "dishonour and shame" to their family or worse, yours! The old chestnut of Honour/Shame Vs Guilt/Innocence is in play again, as in the article Crash and Burn Evangelism #1- World Views. We value honesty in that if they will not start on time we can then plan around that; where they value honour and will bow to your word no matter what the actual outcome will be. It is difficult to navigate a course with such conflicting goals but you must try. Again no-one told me about this and when I confronted them about the lies I further shamed them and me. God is amazing in that he can use even me!

The last Pothole is the of the "Client/Patron relationship".

Unlike my Anglo-Saxon groups I would experience boom or bust with some other people groups. There appeared to be no rhyme or reason to the pattern that I could figure out? Groups that were going gang busters yesterday would be just a ghost of a memory the next day, only to turn up randomly and start off where they left off. Or perhaps never to be seen again anywhere? What a mystery I faced. "Frustrating" is just too little a word to use.

Again it was an cultural concept that is almost forgotten in the West that eluded me. That of the Client/Patron relationship. When I engaged with people and eventually groups I would be expected to act as their "Patron" in some manner. It may start off as a teaching role, mentor, etc. but it may even slip into the odd "favour". One example was "Excuse me Macka but I am sorry to bother you. My sister is stuck over the Congo border and the authorities have her. It is very serious! Could you lend me $500 to help get her home?" Sure a quick pass of the hat and she was home again safely. Oops, where did everyone go?... Six months later out of the blue "John" shows up with the money he owes me. Next week I am asked by the Congolese network why I am not down in Hobart celebrating with them? What just happened?

It is a powerful yet tricky and possibly dangerous relationship that westerners seldom get straight away. As a patron I was expected to help a person or group. As Clients they were expected to bring "honour" back to me by their words, deeds or stature. That is why people tried very hard to "please me" and follow my guidance. That is one dynamic that helps to build large networks quickly in these communities. (There are many other reasons too.) But when a Patron fails to provide or a Client fails in their duty to bring honour to the Patron the relationship becomes strained and uncomfortable until the balance has been righted. Hence the unforeseen boom and bust periods.

This is tricky to navigate but it can also unwillingly become very dangerous. Yes perhaps physically or financially, but more importantly to the Kingdom. The last thing you want is a group of people just going around trying hard to please you! It is your job to make sure that they are trying to bring honour back to God and trying to please Him and not you!! Tempting as this may feel sometimes. God is the ultimate Patron to us all!

So there you go. I have fallen into all of these common potholes on more than one occasion. I pray my embarrassment can prevent you from falling into these holes, keep you driving down the middle of the road and help you build up the Kingdom.

Cheers Macka
 

Crash and burn 2 - the student and the master